Underworld
by Ulf-Duhban
Summary: Harry is abused and starts having problems, Snape hates him now more than ever, will he ever see past the James Potter mask?Warning: will be SLASH!
1. The sea spits out a lament

Disclaimer: I obviously don't own Harry Potter so please don't sue.

A/N: Hullo people! I know this plot is not as original as I would have liked it to be, but I just had to have my go, I promise will try to make it as original as I possibly can. Here are some warnings in order for you to enjoy your reading. This is AU (but aren't they all?) it will eventually be SLASH meaning M/M pairings; the pairing will eventually be HP/SS, it will also contain some scenes of abuse. If you don't like this, or are in any way uncomfortable with it, then please hit the back button now. Oh and by the way this is rated R so no kiddies. Reviews are always welcome. )

Anyway now let's get on with the fic.

Underworld

**Prologue **

"**The sea spit out a lament so low nobody heard it"**

It was the summer after Harry Potter's fifth year at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry, and it was by far the worse he had ever had; not only because he had killed his godfather Sirius Black that fateful day at the Department of Mysteries, but also because the threat members of the Order placed upon his uncle Vernon Dursley, of course he had been frightened at first, because it seemed that his murderer of a godfather also had a group of 'freaks' willing to attack him if anything should happen to Harry; nevertheless this all changed one night when Vernon Dursley went into Harry's room intending to wake him up and yell at him for slacking, he may be protected by others like him, but he still had chores to complete, he had gotten back about a week before and there was still much for him to do; it was just when he was getting close to his bed when he heard him muttering nonsense.

"No...Sirius...sorry...dead...fault"

"Who's dead?" asked Vernon Dursley to a sleeping Harry.

"Sirius" he answered sounding as if he were about to cry.

"Is he now? Well it probably was your fault anyway now wasn't it?" spat back Vernon Dursley with newfound confidence.

"Yes...yes my fault...now dead...no one to help"

This was all Vernon needed to hear, with no murderer godfather around, he could be happy again, sure the Order was expecting Harry to write every 3 days, but that was no longer one of his worries, for he could easily control what his nephew wrote; he could go back to what they were before, more beatings meant more fun.

Ok now, this is just the prologue, I'll add another chapter later today, and I'll try to update as often as possible (though college makes it a bit hard), once a week or something like that.

R/R

Thank you very much!


	2. Sadness' got no place when sadness comes...

Disclaimer: I don't own it. Thanks for reading R/R please!

**Ch. 1 Sadness' got no place, when sadness comes from living**

'_This has to be the worse summer ever'_ thought Harry as he clutched his left wrist to his chest _'Great, just what I needed a broken wrist'_, sure he had been beaten before by the Dursleys, but it had never been this bad, they even sent him back to the cupboard under the stairs. He was hungry, tired, and cold. He wasn't sure how much time had passed since he had had the 'honour' of eating something; he had a really nasty gash across his chest which would reopen every time he moved his arms too quickly or whenever he applied strength, and he was sure he had a couple of broken bones. He saw no way out, his uncle Vernon read every letter he wrote to the Order, making sure he didn't mention anything about the new 'treatment' he was receiving.

His thoughts were interrupted by a loud yell, to which he was used to by now "Boy! I want my breakfast now!" Harry hurried, or at least tried to, out of the cupboard and into the kitchen, he knew better than making his uncle mad. He stayed in the kitchen through out the whole meal hoping to get a little something to eat, but with no such luck. Before heading out for work, Vernon gave Harry a long list of chores to complete before he came home from work.

'_This is impossible! How in the world does he expect me to be able to do all this?' _Harry thought as he watched the Dursleys exit the kitchen, Vernon was the last to exit, but just before he had crossed the door's threshold he turned around and went back to where Harry was standing, causing him to take a couple of steps backwards.

"By the way boy, Petunia and Dudley are going to have a nice day out, so there will be no one here to check over you, you've better not touch a thing or you'll regret the day you were born" these words left Vernon Dursley's mouth with venom sending shivers up to Harry's spine.

'_As if I didn't regret that day already' _Harry thought miserably, as he nodded never looking his uncle in the eye, remembering what had happened on his birthday.

...........................................................................................

_**(Flashback)**_

Harry Potter was miserable, he was locked in the cupboard, hungry, and tired, but along with this misery came happiness, true happiness. Today he had turned 16, he didn't like birthdays a lot, but he sure liked his, for it meant that in just one more year he'd be of age and he wouldn't have to return to the Dursleys ever.

He knew he wasn't going to get any presents, because Dumbledore had forbidden him of receiving letters from anyone in Grimmauld Place or the Burrow for that matter, he had been really angry at first, then he realized he was being childish, and he hated it, because he knew that was what caused Sirius death, this childishness; he could get his presents when he saw his friends on September 1st.

This happiness didn't last much, for he was disturbed by the worse kind of family someone could ever have. His uncle Vernon opened the small cupboard door and hauled Harry by his oversized t-shirt pushing him into the kitchen. "Start breakfast now you lazy boy!" said Vernon several decibels too loud "We let you live under our roof, we provide you with food and clothes and yet this is how you thank us! You filthy freak we should have let you out there that night or given you up for adoption, but we are too much of a nice family to do that; you must do something to repay us, yet you..." Vernon couldn't finish his ranting because he was interrupted by Harry "Repay you?" he asked heatedly looking at his uncle's podgy face for the first time since the beatings had started "You treat me worse than what you would treat an animal! I have nothing to repay you, I hate you, you stupid muggle". Vernon Dursley looked awe struck for about...two seconds; those words did it "What did you call me you little freak? And how dare you look at me in the eye!" a fist connected with Harry's stomach leaving him breathless and in pain; he was clutching his stomach tightly and supporting himself with a table, and it was then when his uncle Vernon grabbed a very sharp knife they kept in the kitchen, yanked Harry by his hair making him stand up straight and cut him across the chest, the cut wasn't to deep, but it was enough to cause a wound that would not stop hurting anytime soon.

That beating didn't last very long because Dudley wanted to have breakfast, so Vernon tossed Harry inside the cupboard –again- and locked Harry in. He didn't remember much of what had happened after that, he lost track of days; all he could think of was hunger and pain.

_**(End Flashback)**_

---------------

He was alone now, still standing in the kitchen, thinking about the best course of action, he wanted to get as much chores done as possible, so that, maybe, he wouldn't get beaten as much; he finally decided to first get all the chores which involved being inside the house first and then he would do the ones outside.

It was a quarter to six, Harry knew he didn't have much time left, his aunt Petunia and his cousin Dudley would be back any minute now as well as his uncle Vernon, and he hadn't even been able to finish half of what was written on the list, it was really hard to clean, carry, and move things with a broken wrist, a well painful and ugly gash, Merlin-knows-what-else, and pain all over his body.

Lost in his thoughts, he didn't hear a car pulling up and a door opening and closing; he was suddenly standing and facing a very angry, purple-faced uncle Vernon.

"I thought I told you I wanted _all _the chores written down on that list done by the time I got back" Vernon said stressing the word _all_ and spiting a bit on the process.

"I..." "Shut up boy! You are only to speak if I tell you to!" yelled Vernon as he grabbed Harry roughly by the arm and dragged him up to Dudley's second bedroom, which had now turned into some kind of torture room, where Vernon and Dudley would have their 'fun' with him; Harry was tossed as if he were some kind of trash into the bedroom as Vernon started locking the door.

Harry cowered back into a corner, behind his spectacles two big horrified eyes could be seen _'Why am I acting like this? I should be used to it by now, besides I clearly deserve it, it's my bloody fault Sirius is dead, if it hadn't been for me, then he'd still be alive, and I'd be with him'_ Harry thought getting angry at himself _'I can't even face a muggle, some courage I have'._

A hard kick on his side brought him back to reality, and after that kick, another followed, and another, and another, each one getting more painful than the last, and each one breaking one more bone or creating one more bruise, he got into a foetal position covering his face and chest in the process, he didn't think he could take another blow to his already wounded chest; suddenly it all stopped and Harry was glad, until he felt a cold metal colliding hardly with his back, a belt, it kept coming over and over again, and just when he was about to lose consciousness Vernon grabbed his hair and pulled him up to the bed.

"Now boy, you stay still while I get what I want, I won't hurt you as much if you cooperate".

Harry didn't seem to understand what his uncle meant at first, but when he felt him trying to remove his trousers he started to panic, and tried kicking the man several times unsuccessfully. He was going to rape him! The last bit of innocence was about to be taken away by his uncle; he simply couldn't allow that, it was too much. _'I have to stop him, I can't have him do this to me' _Harry thought as his breathing quickened it's pace, but no matter how hard he tried he just couldn't make his uncle budge, the lack of food and the beatings had weakened him, and his uncle wasn't exactly light. It was then when the inevitable happened, Harry felt hot pain from behind when his uncle's cock penetrated him hard, he screamed and tried once again to resist to the intrusion, but no avail, it only made it a lot more painful.

"Stop moving boy! I know you like it you little whore, I bet you let everyone at that freakish school of yours do this to you, don't they?"

Vernon spanked, pinched and bit his nephew as hard as he could while he performed his vicious act, he wanted to make him feel pain, he wanted to show him just how insignificant and stupid he really was. Harry tried hard not to cry but the pain and humiliation was too much for him, he was glad he wasn't wearing his glasses, at least that way he didn't have to actually see what was happening; his uncle kept thrusting hard and the sounds of "pleasure" coming out of his mouth were making him sick, he wanted to loose consciousness, but it just didn't happen he stayed awake and in pain until his uncle was done with him.

Just when Harry had thought it had all ended, uncle Vernon started hitting him again.

"You worthless beast! See what you've made me do, I've gotten filth all over me, I hate you, and everybody hates you. Freak! And you are also a murderer!"

Harry was sobbing painfully, those words had stung; he knew he was worthless, but he needn't have someone telling him over and over. _'I'm worthless, I am worthless and I can't die just yet because I'm the bloody saviour of the wizarding world!'_ This was his last thought as blackness embraced him.

As the days went by things got worse, Harry got beat and raped more frequently, not only by Vernon, but also by Dudley, the only thing he was grateful for was the fact that he didn't have to do chores, since Vernon and Petunia didn't want their things to get dirty with "freak blood"; they still forced Harry to write letters to the Order saying everything was fine and that he was happy; he wanted to go back to Hogwarts, where he felt safe, but he wasn't sure how much time he would have to wait.

-----------------------------------

"Get your filthy arse out of that cupboard now!" yelled Vernon as he opened the cupboard door, "You are leaving today, and we hope we don't have to see you again, so you've better do something so that you don't have to come back next summer"

Harry was dragged upstairs and into the shower, the Dursley's wanted to keep up appearances; they also allowed him to have some leftovers breakfast.

Harry's trunk was packed, he hadn't taken anything out of it, not even his books to study or to make summer homework, he hadn't gone to Diagon Alley to get any of his new books because Dumbledore had had them bought for him; Hedwig's cage on the other hand was empty since he had sent her away to Hogwarts after she had delivered his last letter for the summer, so it made carrying a little bit easier. He had a hard time getting his things in the car but he somehow managed, and just before he got into the car Vernon Dursley warned Harry.

"You freak better do something to hide anything that might give away what happened here, if you don't I'll make sure I kill you, understood?" Harry gulped and then nodded once.

"Now get in the car, the sooner we get over with this the better."

------------

Well this was chapter 1. What do you think? R/R please. You'll see Harry with Snape soon. I promise.

Thanks for reading!


	3. Earth here has another colour

A/N: I AM NOT DEAD…yet…I'm deeply ashamed for the lack of updates, I've been extremely busy I've had loads of work and I was offered something I couldn't possibly let go without taking advantage (thing which stole about 2 months of my life, but it was worth it).

I hope now -even though college is absorbing my life yet again— I'll be able to post more often.

I want to thank everyone who reviewed

**sodapup2004 **

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And those who I didn't mention (if that actually happened) first of all sorry but also thank you very much.

I'm sorry! kneels and begs for forgiveness

Here's a new chapter.

**HP is not mine! Just borrowing the characters for fun! **

-

**Earth here has another colour**

Once in Kingcross station, Harry hurried into the train hoping to avoid anyone that knew him (like that was possible everybody knew him), he got into a compartment and locked it, he took out his wand, he knew he could now try to do some magic, after all he was starting term and was far away from stupid muggles, so he muttered some concealment charms he had learnt while he was researching for spells to use with the DA. Once this was done, he could finally relax, he unlocked the door in order not to arise suspicions and sat next to the window; he rested his head, he was awfully tired and hungry, he wanted to get to Hogwarts, the sooner the better. Just when he was ending that thought, Ron and Hermione appeared at the doorway. "Mate! How are you? We've been looking for you!" exclaimed Ron. "We missed you Harry" said Hermione with a quieter voice. "We're sorry we couldn't write" and with this she flung her arms around Harry, he gasped when she made contact with his chest, the gash was still there and it was painful. "Harry are you alright?" she asked concerned, "Yes, I'm sorry I just wasn't expecting you to do that." Harry lied. "Hey mate! Guess what, "we" he said pointing towards Hermione and then himself "are now together" "Together? Meaning…" "We are a couple now Harry" interrupted Hermione smiling. "Oh! That's great!" exclaimed Harry with fake enthusiasm but with a hint of sadness only noticeable to those who were really paying attention 'My luck! This is just bloody fantastic, now I'll also be all alone while in Hogwarts, I don't think they'll want me around while they are snogging' thought Harry miserably, but hid it very well under that happiness mask he had mastered over the years. Other than Malfoy and his thick-headed bodyguards showing up to insult Hermione, make fun of Ron, threat Harry, and in return get some rather nasty hexes thrown at them, the train ride was rather uneventful. The engine stopped and 1st year students started exiting the train while gathering around Hagrid to take the boat ride to the castle, older students just headed towards the carriages, rode by beasts who were only visible to those who had seen death which would take them to the exact same place. - The Great Hall was filled with noise which rose to a volume the greasy git Potions Master Severus Snape didn't know existed, his ears were ringing incessantly and he could clearly see – not that he didn't do so before- why he hated children so badly. 'And as if it wasn't enough with all this despicable dunderheads creating such havoc there are more of their kind waiting just outside' thought Snape with disgust, he was staring off to space sneer placed firmly in his face. He then decided to glare a bit before the Sorting Ceremony started, slowly turning his head and moving his eyes from the invisible hole that he had created his gaze suddenly rested in…Harry Potter 'Bloody fantastic! I decide to look around and my eyes have to be graced by him of all people' as this sarcastic thought crossed Snape's mind, he quickly diverted his attention towards something less annoying, his Slytherins. The sorting came and went rather quickly, and soon Dumbledore was giving cue for everyone to start stuffing their faces. Meanwhile at the Gryffindor table Harry was picking his food looking miserable, he was happy to be back to Hogwarts, and he was glad to have food, friends and a "home" again, but physical and mental pain was becoming too much for him to bear. "Harry, you'd better eat now unless you want me to force feed you!" threatened Hermione, she was happily chatting with Ginny and Neville and when she turned to ask Harry his opinion about the new Defence Against the Dark Arts teacher she realized he hadn't even touched his food. Harry smiled lightly and started eating slowly, afraid of feeling sick if he ate too much or too fast due to the fact that he had been starved for at least a good month and a half while he was "happily" staying with his "beloved family" Oh, he just hated them; he hoped they could just somehow vanish! He didn't want them dead…yet, at least right after he had killed Voldemort, that way he wouldn't feel as guilty, he just wanted them gone for now; or even better, he wanted himself gone, he wanted to breath, only to be able to free himself from that awful screaming inside his mind, that screaming men call silence.1 Yes, silence, he felt empty, silent, dark, alone…caring about nothing and everything at the same time but not really caring, he was far too gone to care. No one to help him, the Boy-Who-Lived, the Gryffindor Golden Boy, is after all perfect, or so he seems to be. Is everyone really that blind? Can they not notice the suffering? Is it so hard for one to look further than ones nose, or to talk without needing the voice? Lost in a place he's the only one able to reach, where the earth has another colour and the skies are down where the ocean once lay. Upside down, twisted, disoriented, different; some sort of dream, a dream with a one way street, going in means never coming back. "Hey mate, mate! Harry!" Ron said while shaking Harry with his left hand "Huh?" "Are you all right mate? You spaced out, and you look a bit green" With this said Harry stood up quickly and fled from the Great Hall, gigantic steps were taken before that fast walking turned into a sprint towards the girl's bathroom. Back at the Great Hall, Snape quickly got up and with grace, exited the Hall and followed the boy. He had noticed Potter behaving rather oddly through out dinner, and he had watched him closely, for he knew how that brat seemed to always cause some kind of scene and/or put himself in some kind of mortal peril. Snape mostly figured Potter was being his usual pompous arse celebrity behaving in a way that would get him attention; but when he stormed out of the Great Hall, he just knew that spoiled child was up to something…stupid, yes, stupid he didn't think the boy was able to manage something other than that. And this turned out to be the reason he was following him, he didn't trust him at all. Harry was resting his head on his new best friend, the toilet seat; all the time he had been thinking, he had also been eating no end and he, as he already expected it to happen, got sick because he was not used to the amount of food he consumed earlier. He left the Great Hall because he didn't want to make a scene, he had started running with the intention of going up to his dorm but he didn't think he would be able to get there before something rather unpleasant happened, meaning before he emptied his stomach somewhere around the castle. All the time moaning Myrtle was crying and screaming and Harry felt like killing her except it wouldn't do much good since she was already dead. He headed towards the sink and washed his face; he slowly lifted his head and found himself facing a mirror. He felt drained, and he looked drained, his glamour was flickering, every now and then he could see the scars and bruises that haunted him and drew him into darkness, the "nice act" his body had performed a few moments before turned out to be quite a strain, though it shouldn't have been but he was after all weak, beaten and malnourished. He decided to sit down and rest before heading back to the dorm, he wanted to be able to keep his glamour off and also to get back there without fainting, he didn't want nor need anyone knowing about his condition. Professor Severus Snape tried to follow Harry Potter, but he somehow managed to lose him. He halted rather at a rather close distance to the bathroom in which the young man before mentioned was. 'Well let's see, I didn't see him heading towards Gryffindor tower, and I am positive I lost the sound of his footsteps not far from here so…' he couldn't finish his train of thought because a loud wail pierced his ears. "Harry! HARRY! Don't forget that if you die, you are welcome to share MY toilet" He knew that voice, it was that annoying dead girl, what did they call her, Moaning Myrtle; but what in the world was she talking about? The Potter brat dieing? Very unlikely, he was probably trying to draw more attention to himself than…wait a minute, Myrtle screaming that could only mean that Potter was probably in the girl's bathroom. He quickly headed towards the door and opened it, he went in and his eyes quickly searched for the Golden Boy. Sitting with his back resting on the wall was one Harry Potter, he had his legs close to his chest and his arms were hugging them tightly, while his head rested rather uncomfortably on his knees. "POTTER" Harry jumped startled; he hadn't heard anyone going into the bathroom, he had somehow disconnected his senses from the outside for a short amount of time, just while he rested. He strengthened his glamour before looking towards the place the voice came from. Snape, Snape! What in Merlin's name was he doing standing right in front of him? How had he found him? And even a better question, why had he followed him? "Potter! Did summer give you some kind of hearing disability? Or are you just plain stupid?" Harry just kept staring "You moronic brat! You will answer me when I'm speaking to you, I don't care if the strain of speaking, if we could ever label the sound your vocal chords emit, ended up destroying those few neurons left in your brain!" "Prof…Professor Snape?" stuttered Harry "No! Am I really? Who were you expecting, brat? The wizard of oz?" Snape answered sarcastically "Now would you mind explaining me the reason of your presence in the girl's bathroom? Last time I checked, Harry was still a boys' name, and when I say boys I mean males" Professor Snape addressed Harry as if he was stupid. "Professor, I was just…what I mean is that…well you see it's difficult to explain but…I was not…" "ENOUGH! I don't want to hear your excuses, you will go back to Gryffindor Tower and you will have detentions with me, six days a week, right after dinner, for a month…at least; now get away from my sight" his tone dangerously low, "Isn't it nice, the Gryffindor Golden Boy getting detentions the first day he's back, oh my aren't we proud!" sneer placed firmly in his face. Harry blinked, twice, he was confused, but Snape sounded angry; he felt lucky Snape wasn't asking him lots of questions, and he didn't want this to change so he quickly got up, ignoring the pain, and desperately trying not to flinch so that he wouldn't give anything away and quickly walked past Snape. "I expect to see you tomorrow Potter, and you'd better be on time" Snape threatened one last time as Harry exited the bathroom and headed to his dorm. - A/N: Well here's a new chapter, it isn't that long but I wanted to post something 1) Well I got this from a movie called "The enigma (mystery) of Kasper Hauser" or literally translated from German "Every man for himself and God against all" by Wegner Herzog, the quote is actually "Don't you hear that horrible screaming all around you? That screaming men call silence?", but I had to modif. It a little bit so it would fit. I repeat, I don't own Harry Potter or any of the characters…at all, as you should know Bloomsbury books and WB do; I don't own "The enigma of Kasper Hauser" that's one of Wegner Herzog's masterpieces and he deserves all the credit for it. Please read and review, it'll be greatly appreciated. 


	4. Turn my life into a soft murmur

A/N: I'm sorry, so sorry ever so sorry for the lack of updates, BUT I have a week off which is my salvation and I'll be able to update!  
Thanks to all who reviewed:  
**rosiegirl  
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HarrySlytherinson  
the return of merry  
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** If I missed anyone thank you too!

** Ch. 3 Turn my life to a soft murmur**

Harry was standing before the Fat Lady's portrait, he didn't know the password, he wasn't a prefect and he hadn't asked neither Ron nor Hermione what it was since he left the Great Hall in such a hurry.

"Sorry dear I can't let you in without the password" the Fat Lady said regarding Harry with a sad look. Just then, Ron walked out "Harry mate! Where were you? I was worried, Hermione is having a fit she ordered me to look for you"

"I've been standing here for quite a while, I don't know the password"

"Oh that, it's 'Per crucem ad lucem'."

Harry looked at Ron as if he had grown two heads.

"Hey don't look at me, Hermione made it up" Ron gestured wildly with his hands while he said this.

"Figures…thanks Ron anyway let's get in there now before Hermione has kittens"

They went in and once in the Common Room they were greeted by a nearly hysteric Hermione. "Harry Potter! Just what were you thinking? Where were you? Have you gone mental? Storming out of the Great Hall like the devil's after you!" her voice raising several decibels with each passing word.

"I wasn't, around, I don't think I have, and I'm sorry I didn't mean to scare you I just needed to get out" Harry answered rather calmly to each one of her questions.

"Oh Harry! It's ok, just remember that next time you feel the need to pull a stunt like that at least let one of us know"

Harry nodded once, "Well you guys, I'm off to bed, I feel rather tired and I want to be on time for breakfast tomorrow; good night"

"Night mate"

"Good night Harry"

Taking two steps at a time, Harry ascended all the way up to the 6th year dormitories, once there he quickly changed his clothes, got to bed and tightly shut the curtains.

Meanwhile, Snape was in his quarters, sitting in front of the fireplace in a very comfortable couch with a firewhiskey glass in his hand. He was thinking about Potter…Merlin what a joy! Not that he actually cared about him, he was just curious.

Potter sure looked strange, definitely not like the arrogant spoiled brat he was last term; Snape first thought the brat was behaving like his usual pompous self, but he did notice a small flicker of magic and a weird change in Potter's appearance if only for a second.

Bruises and cuts, but for Merlin's sake they were probably product of his own stupidity, he must have gotten into some sort of muggle fight while impersonating his brave Gryffindor self, nevertheless whatever it was, he was going to find out and detentions were the perfect excuse. Just thinking about the torturing he could make 'Hogwarts celebrity' undergo made him so happy.

/&//&/&/&/&/&/&/&/&/&/&/

Morning broke a bit to quickly for Harry's liking, and as if that wasn't enough he was the first one up, he surveyed the room as a precaution, since his glamour could have well fallen during the night; he was in pain, walking around with broken bones, bruises and cuts was not his cup of tea but he was definitely not going to go over to the Infirmary and let everyone know about his condition. 

Harry was terrified of his uncle since he had actually hurt him in as many ways possible and he was sure that, if the opportunity showed up, he would not hesitate when it came to killing him, his burden of a nephew.

He took a quick shower letting his glamour fall so that he could clean his wounds since he didn't want them to get infected, then, he dressed and descended the stairs to wait for his friends in the Common Room; an hour later he was still lost in his own little world when a hand touched his shoulder bringing him back to reality.

"Hey mate! Ready for breakfast?" Ron asked while shaking Harry a bit.  
"Yeah, I got up early and decided to wait for you"  
"Well hurry up you two, we'll be getting our schedules and I want to see what classes we are having, I did so well in my OWLS I just can't wait!" Hermione said excitedly.  
"Oh yes! It's bloody fantastic!" Ron said with mock happiness and doing some weird sort of happy up and down dance which earned him a punch from Hermione.

"Well just because you failed some of your OWLS and have some sort of strange revulsion to studying doesn't mean we are all like you"

"Harry by the way what about yours? You haven't told us anything about them!" Hermione said while facing Harry, a huge smile plastered on her face. 

"Well I flunked Divination and Astrology, I actually managed an O in Potions, I don't know how but I did, I guess it's strictly connected to the fact that Snape wasn't breathing down on me waiting for a chance to humiliate me"

"Tell me about it mate! I mean it took me over a week to get over the fact that I actually managed to pass Potions, too bad since I really didn't want to spend another two years with the greasy git" Ron said while making a sort of traumatized face.

"Oh Ronald please grow up"

"What?"

Hermione rolled her eyes this made Harry laugh, the three of them then headed towards the Great Hall.

/&/&/&/&/&/&//&/&/&/&/&/&/&/

Breakfast was a rather uncomfortable time for Harry, he was still sore from his dreaded summer with the Dursleys and sitting still bothered him a lot, but other than that he wasn't unhappy, schedules were handed out and he saw that he didn't have potions until Thursday and Friday which meant Snape- free days, a smile made his way towards his lips until he remembered about his detentions with the overgrown bat… ok that was not a happy thought, but he resolved that if he just came and went and ignored Snape as much as possible then it wouldn't be that bad. 

&/&/&/

A/N: I know short chapter but expect another one tomorrow!  
If my latin is a bit good I'd say 'Per crucem ad lucem' means something like 'By torment find light'  



	5. Not everything has an answer

A/N: NEW CHAPTER! And I posted it the day I had promised! I am so proud of myself ). Aren't you proud of me? Well for now I have to RUN!

Thanks to all reviewers!

**Ch. 4 Not everything has an answer**

Harry was slowly walking towards the dungeons he was in pain, terribly agonizing blinding pain, dinner was over and it was time for his first detention.

'_Way to go Harry! Just remember not to do anything which could give him and excuse for another detention' _Harry thought bitterly.

He stopped right in front of the door that lead to Snape's office; he knocked twice quickly removing his hand as if he had been burnt.

"Come in" the Potions Master's voice answered with his usual cold tone; the door was slowly opened and in came Snape's most hated student.

"Good evening Professor" Harry avoided eye contact with his teacher, as much as it pained to think and say so, he was actually afraid of the older man, he somewhat reminded him of his uncle always cold and hateful towards him; this fear had tremendously increased last term right after the incident with the pensive.

"You are late Potter, if I am not mistaken, dinner ended over fifteen minutes ago and it doesn't take that long to get here, maybe you did it on purpose or perhaps it was your ever growing stupidity which didn't allow you to remember the time of your detention or where my office is located".

"I'm sorry Professor it won't happen again" eyes now examining the floor thing that had just recently turned into something rather interesting to look at.

"It better not; now you will start cleaning those cauldrons over there without magic you've better do it quickly since I don't want you here more time than what's necessary, the cleaning supplies you'll be needing are in that cupboard" Snape said while pointing at the two things which he had mentioned.

He then seated and started grading 3rd grade Hufflepuff summer assignments a look of disgust soon plastered in his face, stupid children didn't know a thing about Potions, their essays were rubbish.

Harry went over to the cupboard and got the cleaning supplies out, sighing he moved them close to the table where about sixty cauldrons were piled each one looking dirtier and more disgusting than the last one.

He started scrubbing one by one with difficulty since his left wrist was broken, he could write with easily since he was right handed and he only needed his right hand for that, but cleaning cauldrons was a whole different story since he needed both of his hands, one holding the item and the other one doing the hard work. He tried hard not to wince and made an effort of reducing his body movement to a minimum since the cut in his chest hadn't healed and he didn't want to bleed all over Snape's dungeon, his secret would be out and that was definitely not what he wanted

'_Bloody git, enjoys torturing me, he's probably not even grading those essays but making fun of me while I suffer'._

Tears were threatening to fall while Harry was thinking this, not only because of the pain but also because of the thought of someone else other than his 'family' enjoying torturing and humiliating him; he forced the feeling to stop, he was not going to cry in front of Snape and give him more weapons to mock and hate him.

'_I mean what have I ever done to deserve this; he's hated me from the very first moment he saw me. I can understand if he hates me because I looked into his pensive but I swear I didn't mean to, I was to curious, shame on me. He thinks I'm just like my father, but I'm not! I'd be damned, I'd never treat someone like that, not even Malfoy'_

The evil git of a Potion's Master was now eyeing Potter every now and then trying to figure out what was going on inside the brat's head, he seemed to be lost in though and he had suddenly accelerated his scrubbing and quickly getting closer to the end of his task.

'_Strange' _he thought _'well I won't think more about it, he is probably anxious to go over to his friends and tell them about the, ever so horrible torture, I've made him undergo' _with this, he turned back to his grading.

"I'm done sir" Harry said tiredly.

Snape then, headed towards the cauldrons and eyed them meticulously.

"Well Mr. Potter" he spat the name with disgust "It seems that your brain damage has extended, these cauldrons don't look clean to me". Harry's eyes widened to tremendous proportions right after this was said. "But sir…" he didn't get to finish since he was rudely interrupted by his teacher.

"I don't care what you have to say, you will wash all of them again" he smirked "and you will do it as many times as necessary, you ought to be more careful with what you do"

Harry didn't move if he wasn't going to cry before, he sure was going to now.

"Well? Stop looking at me as if you were mentally disabled and start to work…Now!" Snape screamed the last part startling Harry and bringing him out of his 'I hate myself but I hate that git even more' trance.

He moved a couple of steps backwards as if he were afraid of the taller man, and started working, this looked a bit odd to Snape it reminded him of himself, his childhood, and the way he behaved because he had been abused by his father but decided to ignore it, after all this was the Potter brat, not one of his Slytherins which often faced the same fate he had.

'_I will not cry, I will not cry. I will not cry in front of bloody Snape' _Harry repeated this in his head like a mantra; the pain on his wrist increased with each passing second but he decided not to think about it, the sooner he got over with this, the sooner he could run, hide and cry. But scrubbing with such ferocity soon resulted in his gash opening, he felt it, how could he not notice after all it was not the first time it had happened.

'_Shit, I have to get out of here quick, I don't give a damn about the 'repercussions' of my actions'_

He put down the cauldron he was cleaning, tossed the sponge he was using into it and sprinted towards the door, before he exited he turned around and faced a surprised looking Snape.

"I'm sorry sir, I'm sorry for everything but above all I'm sorry I looked into your pensive" Harry said in a rush and exited the room.

"Potter just what in Hades do you think you are doing?" Snape screamed after him, but Harry was long gone and didn't hear his teacher rants.

&/&/&/&/&/&/&/&/&/&/&/&/

A/N: New chapter will be out soon...oh by the way the 'quick edit' makes my story editing slower and harder so if chapters turn out to be in anyway confusing or hard to read let me know! ) 


	6. Reduce my life to a line

A/N: Short update; warning: Suicidal Harry ahead.

Thanks to all reviewers

**Dhampir72**

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**opal**.- About the chapters I've been trying it's just that I've been awfully busy, and about the pain well, people are often engrossed with themselves and their lives and well sometimes it seems as if our love lives were more important than friends. I promise I'll try to make them longer!

**shazia)Riavera**.- well I called it Underworld because…er…well it sort of jumped into my mind…ok I'll give more thought to this answer and let you know :D Oh and about the making sense about the p/w well I'm just confused forgive my stupidity.

**dreamerswaking**.- Slash

**Ch. 5 Reduce my life to a line**

' _Run, run, run, run, fast, fast, fast, fast' _Harry was running blindly through the many corridors in Hogwarts, he then got to the astronomy tower climbed up the stairs and sat dangerously close to the edge, once there he let the tears run freely. He opened his robe and saw that his shirt which was once white was now soaked in blood and had turned into a disgusting red colour.

'_I need to get at least one healing potion to fix this, this is becoming absurd I shouldn't have to worry about this sort of wounds'_ he turned his gaze upwards and sadly looked at the stars.

'_Sirius…'_

/&/&/&/&/&/&/&/&/

'_What an outrage! That brat doing as he pleases, running out of detention as if he was the next best thing; he'll never get the end of this when I find him, we'll go straight to Dumbledore, no, even better I'll make him suffer, he'll be emotionally instable when I'm done with him.'_

Snape was stomping around the castle trying to find the bane of his existence, thinking of ways to torture him since he thought death was a simple way out and he deserved to suffer…five more minutes to curfew and he is again strutting about.

'_Now if I was a stupid egocentric brat, where would I be…'_

/&/&/&/&/&/&/&/&/

Tears just kept coming, not that Harry wanted them to stop; he felt miserable and also stupid.

'_I can't hide forever and I will have to face Snape someday, if he made my days a living hell I can't imagine how he'll treat me now'_ awful images of Snape torturing Harry crossed his mind making him shudder.

'_About the healing potion, I don't think a normal one will work, I'll have to research, find a potion and then make it, I'll try to find one which uses normal ingredients so that I don't have to steal from Snape's'_

"Well, well, well what have we here? The great Harry Potter sitting in the Astronomy tower, oh!" Snape said with fake surprise "and after curfew, this is not good"

Harry wiped his tears but didn't look towards his professor, instead he started contemplating the idea of jumping off the tower, it was tall enough for him to be sure to die and Snape had no chance of catching him; it was an easy way out of his troubles, no more Dursleys, no more evil git, no more Voldemort…how appealing.

However his wonderful moment of fantastic suicidal thoughts was cut short with one of Snape's sarcastic comments.

"Is Potter the Almighty ignoring me? Oh no Merlin help me!" Snape waited for an answer it never came so he started again "Get over here you moronic brat, stop this nonsense this instant! I'm sure your fans didn't mean to hurt you in any way you'll see when you get back to your tower they'll all be waiting for you to sign autographs."

This was said and Harry moved slightly closer to the edge, Snape noticed this and got a bit closer to him and positioned his hand close to Harry's back but making sure that he wasn't able to see it.

"Selfish brat! Contemplating suicide just because Mr. Creevey's last photograph of his hero was not of your liking, trust me we all have bad hair days" fake concern laced his voice.

"Now…" Snape couldn't continue his speech; Harry's body went limp and almost fell off the tower, his teacher's quick reflexes stopped him form facing certain death, he then carried him over to a safer place.

"I always thought that even though you lack the brains needed for deep thinking you still had some sense of self preservation…" he looked, well more like glared, down to check that the brat was indeed processing the information that was being given and once again he had to cut his ranting short when he saw that the burden in his arms was unconscious.

"What have I ever done to deserve this?" Snape thought out loud, sighed and started walking towards the Hospital Wing.

&/&/&/&/&/&/&/&/&/&/&/

A/N: I'll try to make a longer chapter and post it soon. 


	7. A place where sun doesn't burn

A/N: Hello and thank you for all your reviews once again.

**FroBoy**

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**EastSide**.- House elves are scary! Here's an update keep them away, keep them away! LOL

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**TorsKerl**.- Thank you! That's what I try to do though it sometimes I don't have the time:)

**opal.- **just how do you holda person who is unconscious? Well let's say blood is first absorbed by what you are wearing. :)

**XyBulmaXy**

**Ch.6 A place where sun doesn't burn**

"POPPY!"

"Where's the fire?" Poppy Pomphrey exited her room and went into the infirmary looking sleepy and in the most ridiculous clothing Snape had ever seen next to those of Albus Dumbledore, and that was saying something.

"Mr. Potter fainted about five minutes ago, I'll just leave him here and be on my way" said Snape coldly at the same time he was roughly setting Harry in a bed.

"Thank you Severus" answered Poppy as the stonehearted man exited the Hospital Wing.

Madame Pomphrey started checking her new patient and gasped when she saw all the blood covering him, she opened his shirt and saw nothing. Staring deeply in thought she resolved that he was probably wearing a glamour and went over to get her wand. To say she was shocked after the incantation to remove it was said was an understatement, she slowly retreated to fire-call the headmaster.

&/&/&/&/&/&/&/&

In the Gryffindor Common Room, Ron and Hermione were seated gazing at the fire.

"I'm telling you Hermione, it's been too long, Harry should be back already"

"Where do you suppose he is?" asked Hermione.

"I don't know! All I'm saying is that he should be back."

"I've got an idea!" said girl stated, "Why don't we check on the Marauders map? You do know where it is don't you?"

"Yeah, wait here I'll go get it" this was said and Ron went up to the dormitories and got the map out of the drawer where they had kept it since third year.

"I solemnly swear that I am up to no good", Hogwarts revealed it self before the two worried friends.

"See Hermione I told you, that greasy git killed him!" Ron said while signalling the place where the name Harry Potter was, the infirmary.

"Ron don't be stupid, if he was dead his name wouldn't be visible, besides maybe he just had a headache and went to the infirmary to get a potion to stop it, and in case you have forgotten Professor Snape's a member of the Order and Professor Dumbledore wouldn't have let him get away with it." Hermione said matter-of-factly and at the same time stressing the word Professor.

"Professor Dumbledore is in there with Harry. Why don't we take the invisibility cloak and go see what's happened?" He said mocking Hermione as he said the word Professor.

"You've got to start behaving like the prefect you are, you've got to set an example, and a good one that is. Taking the invisibility cloak out of Harry's trunk without his permission is not ethical."

"Hermione! What if he is hurt, or maybe he's been cursed or something? He won't mind! We have to help him," Ron pleaded

"All right, but just for you to know, I'm only doing this for Harry" she said after a moment of thought.

&/&/&/&/&/&/&/&/&/&

Albus face was adorned by guilt and sadness as he looked at the boy lying in the Hospital bed.

"What's happened to Mr. Potter?" Albus asked, his eyes never leaving said person.

Hermione and Ron entered the Hospital Wing under the invisibility cloak and positioned themselves close to where Harry was, but making sure to keep a distance as for not being spotted by the Headmaster.

"Oh Albus! It's horrible, he's got several broken bones, bruises and cuts all over his body, a rather nasty looking one on his chest I might add, and" Poppy stopped for a moment.

"And?" Albus asked impatiently.

"He's been raped," she said softly, her composure breaking as a couple of tears left her eyes. "This was definitely done by those muggles Albus, the worst of their kind that is, they are as close to a Deatheater as anyone could be! Torturing a boy…"

Both friends tried hard not to gasp after this was said, they didn't want to give themselves away. They looked at each other and in silent agreement headed back towards the Gryffindor tower.

"Why didn't he tell us? How could I not notice something like this was happening? And here I was thinking I was doing what was best for him." Dumbledore said not believing what he had heard.

"I can tell you this is not the first time this has happened…potions and spells will heal all his physical wounds, but the emotional will take much more than that, he's going to need all the help he can get."

"I know who can help him, he'll just need a bit of persuading, after all five years of hate can't be easily forgotten."

&/&/&/&/&/&/&/&/&/&/&/

A knock in Severus' chambers so late at night made him assume that the one knocking was non other than the Headmaster so he didn't move from the place where he was sitting grading papers and continued his work since the portrait guarding his chambers - his hideout - would let said man in anyway. Not a second after he'd thought this, he heard his door opening.

"Severus my dear boy, how are you tonight?"

"I'm fine Headmaster, and not to be rude or anything what do I owe this visit?"

"Straight to business as always I see." Dumbledore said his eyes twinkling madly in anticipation to what was going to be said.

Severus kept quiet in hopes for the headmaster to tell him whatever it was he needed to tell him so that he could continue grading, he still had an awful lot to do and the dunderheads he had for students made his work harder.

"There's a student in Hogwarts who's been, let's say, mistreated and I know you are the best person to offer him help."

Snape's interest peaked and he looked at the old man in the eye, "And who might this student be?" he asked he wanted to know who this person was, he had to be informed before he agreed on anything.

"Harry Potter," he said and waited for the other Professor's tantrum.

"What?" Severus asked thinking that perhaps he had misheard what had been said.

"Harry Potter," Albus repeated patiently.

"Just tell me Headmaster what kind of mistreatment could that boy" he spat the last couple of words "have undergo?"

"You'd be surprised, all I can say is that I sure was"

"No" Snape said simply.

"I'm afraid I can't take no for an answer"

"But Headmaster, he's probably faking it he just wants more attention, need I remind you that the words mistreatment and abuse don't apply when a child's every wish is not granted when he wants it and how he wants it" the Potions Master said almost as if he were lecturing the older man.

"I know that my boy, why don't we both go to the Medical Wing so that you can hear what has happened from a Mediwitch's point of view"

"But…" Snape tried to stop Dumbledore's non-sense, no avail since he was already waiting for him outside his chambers.

&/&/&/&/&/&/&/&

Back in the Gryffindor Common Room…

"I didn't know Harry's relatives were and could be so cruel to him," Hermione said sadly.

"Those muggles are going to pay for what they did first the bars outside his window and now this!" Ron said angrily.

"I can't believe we didn't notice, I mean he was acting rather strange but I decided to ignore it, I thought it was all related with Sirius dieing…what kind of friends are we?" Hermione asked Ron softly shortly followed by "how are we going to act towards him now that we know what's happened?"

The question was left hanging, it didn't seem to have an answer, they both headed to their dorms for the night.

/&/&/&/&/&/&/&/&/

Snape couldn't believe his ears, he was sure the Potter brat had been spoiled just like his father. He had assumed that the scenes he had seen while practising Occumlency with the boy were some kind of punishment to deflate his ego, but he had been wrong.

"See Severus, I told you this was not just some way fro Harry to seek for attention," the Headmaster said.

"What do you expect me to do Headmaster? Hug and comfort him until he feels better?" Snape said sarcastically, even though he was impressed he still didn't want to help James Potter spawn, he still loathed him regardless of what had happened.

"No, I know you have detentions with him every night for a month, I want you to use that time to speak with him and try to help him," Dumbledore answered.

"Can't you ask someone from his fan club to help him?" the Potions Master said desperately in hopes to set himself free from what Albus wanted.

"He needs a third person who will not pity him for this, you are the right person" Albus solemnly told him; "please Severus do it as a favour to this old man"

'_Meddling old coot, backstabbing me like this'._ Albus knew manipulating Snape that way always worked, and after a moment of silence,

"All right, I'll do it, but I won't be anywhere close to nice to him," Snape said "I am not nice," then he rudely exited the Hospital Wing.

"Thank you my boy!" Albus said after him, I'll inform him as soon as he wakes up.

/&/&/&/&/&/&/

Harry opened his eyes slowly, the light was blinding, _'Where am I?'_ was the first thing he thought, _' White, clean, light…I must be in the Hospital Wing, I'm sure I've broken a record not a week's passed since term started and I'm already here…Oh no!' _ He remembered previous night events with dread, _'I was in the Astronomy tower, Snape came along and I can't remember what happened next; Wait just a second!' _he was fully awake now, _'If I'm here it means…'_

"Glad to see you are awake Mr. Potter, here drink this," the nurse said while handing Harry a vial filled with some awful smelling potion. Harry looked at it with disgust.

"Drink it now, it will make sure your wounds don't get infected," she said.

With one big gulp he drank it and handed the vial back to Madam Pomphrey, "Good boy, you wait here while I inform the Headmaster you are awake, after that you may go eat breakfast in the Great Hall, no, scratch may, you must have breakfast, you need to gain some weight."

He started looking for a way to escape; he didn't want to face the Headmaster…too late.

"Mr. Potter, how are you this morning," Albus asked cheerfully.

"I'm fine, Sir" Harry answered not looking at the man.

"Why didn't you tell us about what your relatives were doing to you Harry?" the Headmaster said softly his face turning serious looking for eye contact.

"Why didn't I tell you?" Harry asked him back "I didn't tell you because I AM HARRY BLODDY POTTER! THE BOY-WHO-LIVED! I JUST COULDN'T TELL YOU!" he was screaming now; he turned to look at the Headmaster realising what he had just done.

"I'm sorry Professor, I…"

"Don't worry, I know it's a big burden the one we've placed upon you. I want to help you".

"Thank you Headmaster".

"You need to have someone to talk to when you feel the need, so I've assigned this task to Professor Snape, you will start tonight during your 'detention', and after all of them are over, you'll both decide when to continue your meetings".

"Snape?" Harry said unbelievingly.

"Yes Harry, Professor Snape." Dumbledore answered

"I'm sorry sir, but why him? He hates me"

"He has a lot of experience with this sort of things, he will help you if you let him, now, go have some breakfast you'll make Poppy happy, have a good day", and with this, Albus left.

Harry couldn't believe he was actually going to have to talk with Snape of all people, he'd probably make him worse if anything; he got out of bed and saw that elves had brought him a clean school uniform and left it in a chair, he quickly changed and headed towards the Great Hall.

"Mr. Potter please come back tomorrow so I can check on you and give you some potions if needed", the nurse said before he left.

"Yes, Madame Pomphrey".

&/&/&/&/&/&/&/&/&

He got to the Great Hall and spotted his two friends already eating, he went and sat next to Ron.

"Hi guys", he said forgetting everything that had happened the night before and the conversation with the Headmaster, his friends were the only thing he had even if they were absorbed with each other and ignored him every now and then.

"Hi Harry", they both answered at the same time, it wasn't a normal answer Harry noticed.

"Is something wrong?" he asked thinking that perhaps they had fought and weren't too happy.

Ron and Hermione hesitated, they both had agreed on telling his friend about hearing what had happened to him and offer him their support.

"Well you see Harry" said Hermione "yesterday we got worried when you didn't get back to the Common Room before curfew so we checked the Marauders map and saw where you were", Harry got the feeling that the conversation was not heading towards where he would like it to.

"So" Ron continued "I told Hermione we should go check what was wrong with you, she didn't want to at first but I convinced her, and then I got your invisibility cloak and we went to the infirmary…" he stopped.

"We know what they did to you Harry, why didn't you tell us? We could have helped you, we still want to" Hermione said and looked at Harry with what could be interpreted as pity.

"Yes mate, you could have come to stay with us or something, you know just to be away from them," Ron said shortly after, his look resembling that of Hermione.

'_Great, just great, last thing I wanted was them finding out and then pitying me, my day just gets better and better' _Harry thought sarcastically, _' they are my friends, they shouldn't pity me at all',_ he was angry now.

"You know what, I'm not hungry, we've got Herbology first I'll see you there," he stood up and left.

"Wait!" Hermione screamed after him, but he didn't stop.

&/&/&/&/&/&/&

Classes, lunch, and dinner that day were very much the same, Harry avoiding Ron and Hermione at all costs and them trying to get him to speak to them, that's all they wanted, and of course they didn't want to lose his friendship, but they couldn't treat him just the same after finding out about his treatment; and all Harry wanted was to crawl into a hole and either disappear or die.

The time came for Harry to head towards the dungeon and begin his 'Snape-therapy' of the day.

'_Better and better' _he thought again before knocking.

&/&/&/&/&/&/&/&/&/

A/N: Another chapter! I'll try to update again as soon as possible.


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